D-FAC Soap Opera

For some reason there are no forks in the DFAC this week. We use washable plastic cutlery. About 300 forks have vanished.

Rumor has it that the guards started throwing them into the garbage after an inmate blew the whistle on the guards for eating at the prison DFAC without paying.

What did the guards expect, though? They know there are inmates serving time for misappropriating government funds and rations…did they really think one of them wouldn’t snitch?

The dining facility (DFAC) here is surprisingly well-stocked. We have access to a pretty healthy selection of food and there’s a salad bar during lunch and dinner. That said, you can easily get more than enough food to get yourself fat. There are inmates here who easily weigh 300-400 pounds.

The seating arrangement in the DFAC mirrors that in the pods. There are three main sections: “white,” “latino,” and “brothers.” The whites are the largest section by far, thus their section is further divided into cool guy tables and not-so cool guy tables. Remind anyone of high school?

The cool guy tables are where the Heavies sit – the same dudes who sit in the front row of each pod to watch TV. The table seat six, but the cool guys won’t let anyone sit in the middle seats, so only four dudes can sit at each cool guy table. Next to them are tables for second row and third row guys. Then you have the small section of latino tables – they provide a bridge/barrier between the white section and the free-for-all section in the middle. The Brothers have a generous amount of tables and seem to let their members sit where they please.

The free-for-all section is also known as the “Chesters” area (short for child molesters). People who sit there fall into four categories: Chesters (obviously), new guys, un-liked guys, or cool guys from the whites section who don’t want to deal with the strict hierarchy and rules of the white tables.

Problems arise when people try to squeeze into the cool guy section. The lack of space is complicated even further when people in the lowest custody pod arrive and think they’re somehow entitled to sit in the cool area and take up two seats, even though they’re not Heavies. The politics of this place are amazing.

Where are the forks?

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